your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want to make a zoo with you.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize