plz talk dirty to me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize