Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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