do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
