Please, let me fuck your mom
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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