yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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