It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
