We're like a lot better than the average bears
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
