Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
