so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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