please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
