I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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