i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize