Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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