Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
