thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
