I think i peed on brittanys purse
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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