I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
