is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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