so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
