You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if only i could text you this smell
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
