i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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