you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize