I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
