I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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