Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
