Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
