Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize