i think my mom watched the whole time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
