i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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