I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
