I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
you made out with another girl for some wings
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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