im about as happy as oj after his trial
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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