She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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