I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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