Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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