Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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