I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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