i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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