Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
