I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
