i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
