I wannas sexs uuuuu
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
