bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
