brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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