how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
