She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
