tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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