So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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