I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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