I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
