You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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