I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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