if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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