I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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