8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize