Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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