i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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