Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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