you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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