Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
