Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
