I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They took my balls.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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