Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's the barista slut.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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