Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
