Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
