Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
