I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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