How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
