My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
